Road Rage: II

"Well, well, well
Hello, hello, hello"

I greet the boys in blue, between my red hands and the grey sky
Weather's all around us like a scene from Flann O'Brien
Misery and absurd humour
Like "Keep still, you little fucker!" they say
While they push me
Here and there, grabbing my arms and twisting my wrists
And if that weren't enough,
I'm hardly mid coitus here
So there's no need for them to call me "fucker"
And, though I'm loath to admit,
I'm almost the size of a bullbar-fronted housewife's lover machine.
Innacurate description of the suspect can
In some cases
Lead to false imprisonment

"Take me away," I say
"Take me, take me now!"
Unwell, I'm done in my mind
And I don't think I'll drive again.

Road Rage: I

It wasn't so much
The Traffic
Standstill, while I waited in an overheating car in an overlong tailback on an under-resourced road
Starting
Forward
Slow
ly
and
Jer-
kill
y
then
Stop
It wasn't the others
Who I had sympathy for - we were all in it together
Until a few filthy fuckers
Started playing sillybuggers
Cutting the rest of us up, cutting the rest of us out
Pushing themselves ahead and fucking the rest of us out of it
Fucking the rest of us off.
Nor was it
The politician on the radio
Who tried to grin it all away by going
"Isn't it wonderful now we're rich enough to have traffic problems?"
No, it's actually
The presenter and their stupid questions and
banter that means
Not a thing to anyone
least of all
me
It was the presenter
The fucking presenter
That made me take to those people with my car jack.

Performancing

Performancing is a very cool blogging tool for Firefox 2.0. Blog from any site (like clicking the "Blog this" link, except it's an option within Firefox. A small text editor appears, and you write away (as I am now). On the right, a list of your blogs (which are simple as hell to configure for username/password). Whe you're done writing, you select the blog to post it to, and you're done. It's a gimick, but I bet for professional bloggers, and those who keep and eye on the web, it's bizarre offerings and real benefits, this could be a compelling and (frankly) pretty cool way to blog!

powered by performancing firefox

My doppelganger is a killer.

How about that. See his photo on this page:

http://news.bbc.co.uk/1/hi/england/tees/5412264.stm

He's the image of me. So, if you're out and about and see a convicted killer, don't worry. It's probably just me.

Rgds

Dinosaurs Extinction

Just reading this (http://news.bbc.co.uk/2/hi/science/nature/5403570.stm)

This freight train of consideration courses through my mind:

1. No one really knows why the dinosaurs went extinct.
2. We do know dinosaurs were HUGE
   
3. Like all animals, they must have farted, particularly given all the vegetation and vegeation-eating-animals they ate
4. a Scientists reckon cows farts (methane gas) could be contributing to greenhouse gasses, and global warming.
   b ALSO, For some unknown reason, beasts with a high ecological impact on the world inevitably destroy themselves (cf. humans).
5. Now imagine a world populated by animals that would fart a cow out of existence, living happily and without care for millions of years.

Conclusion:
Disonsaurs made themselves extinct through flatulence.

Not just through the destruction of the environment, but also through issues such as social isolation, lonliness, and self-hatred. All well known symptoms of serial farters.

Think about it. I do.